The Stages of Grief: How to Understand Your Feelings

Edition #018

Grief has touched my life in more ways than I ever imagined. There were times I thought the sadness would never lift, times when I couldn’t recognise myself in the mirror, and times when I wondered if Spirit had left me altogether.

If you’re in that space right now, I want you to know this: you’re not alone.

Grief is one of the most universal human experiences, yet when you’re in it, it can feel like you’re the only one who has ever walked this path. One moment you feel numb, the next you’re overwhelmed, and sometimes you wonder if what you’re feeling is even “normal.”

That’s why it can help to understand the stages of grief, not as a strict timeline, but as a gentle guide to what may arise as you move through loss. These stages don’t always appear in order, and you may revisit them many times. But knowing them can give you language for what your heart is trying to express.

Here’s what I’ve noticed, both in my own journey and in sitting with others:

🌑 Denial: Protecting the Heart

When I lost someone dear, I remember waking up the next morning feeling like it was all a bad dream. My mind just refused to believe it. That’s denial at work — a shield for the heart.

This stage isn’t stubbornness or weakness. It’s the soul saying, “let me catch up.” If you’ve been here, please know it’s your body’s way of keeping you safe until you can hold the truth.

🌧 Anger: Love and Pain Collide

I’ve sat in circles where anger poured out in tears, in silence, and even in laughter that carried an edge of pain. Anger is often the hardest stage to allow, but it’s also one of the most important.

For me, I’ve felt anger at the unfairness of life, at unanswered questions, even at myself. But I’ve come to see anger as love turned inside out. It’s the ache of caring so deeply that it can’t help but erupt.

🌊 Bargaining: Trying to Regain Control

I’ve whispered the “what ifs” too many times to count: what if I had done this differently? What if I could somehow change the past?

Bargaining often comes when we’re desperate for something to make sense. It’s not foolishness — it’s love searching for another chance. If you find yourself replaying conversations or imagining other outcomes, please know that it’s a natural part of the heart trying to heal.

🌫 Depression: The Weight of Reality

There was a season in my life when I felt like the colour had drained out of the world. Even simple things — making a cup of tea, opening the curtains — felt impossible. That was grief, pressing its weight down on me.

Depression in grief isn’t a sign of failure. It’s the body and spirit allowing the full truth of loss to land. If this is where you are, take each day one step at a time. Sometimes healing looks like simply breathing through the day and letting that be enough.

🌱 Acceptance: A New Way Forward

Acceptance, for me, has never been about moving on. It’s about moving with. Carrying the love, carrying the lessons, and carrying even the pain — but learning to let life in again too.

The first time I felt acceptance, it came quietly. A smile that didn’t feel forced. A moment of peace that surprised me. That’s when I knew something inside was softening.

Acceptance isn’t the end of grief. It’s the beginning of living alongside it, with a little more gentleness and trust.

💫 Finding Light After Loss Workshop
If any of these words resonate, I’d love to hold space for you. On Tuesday, 23rd September, 7:00 PM UK, I’ll be guiding a special Finding Light After Loss Workshop — created for anyone navigating grief, heartbreak, or life after change.

Together we’ll release what’s heavy, invite healing, and reconnect with the part of you that still longs to live fully.

👉 Reserve your place here 

You don’t have to do this alone. I’ve walked through grief myself, and I know how heavy it can feel. Let me walk with you.

With Love & Light,
Michelle Morley x
The Modern Day Medium